Say Goodbye
The sun was shining and the birds were singing , happy about another summer day. Everything was bright and as light as a feather. However, in his heart it was dark, darker than dark, and all things were so heavy on his heart.
He stepped out of the saloon. No one seemed to care about him. He turned to the right, to the meadows - where the bees were humming and butterflies flapping its wings. Nothing of this beautiful day got through to him; he had absolutely no eyes for it. It didn't take him long to reach his destination.
Only slowly, as slow as he could, he made his way over to it. To the place where she was lying. Forever. Hopefully in eternal peace. When he stared at the cross with her favourite necklace around it he couldn't help the tears welling up in his eyes. It was useless telling himself that he was a man. And man don't cry, don't they? But they also have feelings.
It wasn't fair that she was lying there. Why not her evil sister? It was her fault that she had to die. She... never wanted a reconciliation. At first he didn't understand why she did what she did but after a while he realized that this was what she was made of.
Just what seemed like seconds ago for him they had decided to try it again with each other. She had told him that she still loved him. And he loved her as well. Even if he hated saying those three words — that was what he felt for her. Still felt. And he couldn't imagine that those feelings would ever change. She was such a wonderful woman, so completely different from all his girlfriends and affairs.
He would do everything to get her back. It wasn't possible. He would never see her again. Never take her in his arms again. Comfort her. Laugh with her. Kiss her. Argue with her. Just be with her. Never again. Never.
His legs were weak and he sank on his knees. He touched the earth of her grave. Finally the tears were finding their way out of the corners of his eyes over his cheeks. They fell on her grave. Were reunited with her — unlike him.
One word was echoing in his head all the time. Gone. She was gone forever. And with every new echo his heart broke into more and tinier pieces. Who would put them together again? Will there actually be one? And would he allow it?
The pain was so strong, so deep. Had put a tight grip around his heart. Sometimes he was barely able to breathe. Everything hurt. Waking up. Thinking. Eating. Everything. And there was always one question. Why? He knew he would never get an answer. No one was there to give it.
And then he saw himself as a young boy. Years ago. But nothing had changed. The pain was the same. His heart was heavy, so heavy. The tears were there. And he was also alone. Completely alone. The only thing different was the person lying in the grave. Not the woman he loved but the mother he loved. And there was this song on his mind. Say goodbye. How could he? Goodbye means forget. And he didn't want to forget. Never.
They had played the song at the funeral of his mother. He had hated yet loved it. At the funeral of his love the song had played as well - on his mind. It had always been there. Always been taken out of its drawer when he had lost someone again. Too often. Too much pain. Too much weight o his heart. He had repressed it all. Unsuccessfully.
Now his unlucky soul said goodbye. Goodbye friend. Goodbye lover. Goodbye girlfriend. She was everything. His heart refused to do so. Saying goodbye was no option. would never be an option. Goodbye means forget. his mind didn't want to do it but it was playing this one song. And he knew the song lied. They wouldn't find a way. There was no way. Never. But he swore to himself he would NEVER FORGET. Never.
Say Goodbye
Somewhere inside it's burnin'
I don't know why it's hurtin'
Hoping for just one sign in your eyes
That tells you will be stayin'
Where can I go to find you?
What must I do to feel it?
Always I was looking but too blind to see
You were there right by my side
Say goodbye I'll never forget
Say goodbye I believe in the day
Say goodbye
Our hearts gonna beat both together
Cause we, we'll find a way
What can I to hold you?
Now that I know I love you
Never found that our hearts felt the same
Till the cold light of day stole our dreams
Say goodbye I'll never forget
Say goodbye cause I believe in the day
Say goodbye
Our hearts gonna beat both together
Cause we, we'll find a way
Say goodbye I'll never forget
Say goodbye cause I believe in the day
Say goodbye
Our hearts gonna beat both together
Cause we, we'll find a way
We will find a way
